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The Thing arrives in theaters today. It’s a supposed prequel to John Carpenter’s 1982 classic. While you may want to praise Universal for its decision to forgo the current trend of remakes, I’d contend that their plan to write a prequel is simply an ingenious way for them to remake the original without having to attach the much-maligned “remake” tag to the film. Now, it’s not necessarily Universal’s fault – the original film dealt the cards they’re now playing.

The Thing 2011 may not be an official remake, but it’s so trapped by what the original established, it’s no different. All of the events in Carpenter’s film are preceded by the mysterious abandonment of a Norwegian camp elsewhere on Antarctica. The Thing 2011 details the struggle in the Norwegian camp. Consequently, before the first frame hits the screen, the setting is already established (Antarctica), the antagonist is already established (alien creature) and events are already established (an unknown creature is found, it assimilates to the animals or people within the camp and kills most or all of them in attempt to reach a larger population).

Do those events sounds familiar? It’s Carpenter’s original film!

I see only the bookends of the film significantly deviating from Carpenter’s film. It’ll explain the origins of the creature, which anyone with half a brain could guess (hint: its spaceship crashed), and the creature will survive in the end. I’m not saying there won’t be any interesting additions to what the original established – I’ve already read that there are indeed such additions – I’m just saying a remake would’ve done the same damn thing: keep the major plot points in place as subtle changes are folded in. I see the appeal of creating a prequel or a sequel to a cult classic, you re-kindle the flames of the original while igniting an entirely new film (see: Tron: Legacy). I just don’t believe the studio is making this film for the fans.

The worst part is Universal may have their cake and eat it too… so long as nobody reads reviews of this one.

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Chloe and Attie are twins. They’re also elderly, and Attie’s health is clearly a problem. What’s unclear, however, is her actual medical condition or when onset occurred, as she’s now bedridden and unresponsive. Chloe takes care of her, however. The two appear to have only each other in their lives. Days are spent in silence. Attie slowly deteriorates in her bed while Chloe fills gaps between bed baths and injections with errands and crossword puzzles. It seems like a sad, quiet life for both.

But Attie isn’t as disabled as she appears. In fact, Attie possesses an extraordinary ability – a deadly ability – and it redefines her relationship with her sister entirely.

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Director Scooter Corkle establishes a slow-burn approach with his short’s quiet creepiness. Dialogue is minimal – a few sentences perforate the silence – and the film swims in pools of blue, which makes its bleak and almost hopeless tone all the more palpable. It’s an effective short, and an even more effective film teaser. Questions about the sisters abound. Who are they? Why does Attie use her ability? How did she obtain it? Who’s a burden to who? Does Chloe care for her out of unconditional love? Or does she care for her out of fear for what Attie might do to her? These questions have answers, but whether or not we ever see them is in doubt right now.

Corkle wants to turn his award-winning short into a full-length feature film, but he needs help to do so – money, to be specific. Joyce and Jacqueline Robbins, Chloe and Attie, respectively, are also behind the campaign. When you pledge a certain amount of money via Kickstarter, you’ll receive an opportunity to actually Skype with the elderly duo… among other opportunities and gifts. It’s all pretty cool, especially when all my grandma wants to do is go to the casino or play cards.

I don’t usually mention any of the numerous films looking for financing, but I thought his short was worthy of a post – you can decide whether or not it’s worthy of your cash.

October 21st is the Kickstarter deadline and roughly $1500 is still needed. Check out the film’s Kickstarter page and keep track of its development on Facebook.

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I’m fairly excited for tonight’s premiere of American Horror Story on FX. It’s an odd excitement, however. I wasn’t a fan of Nip/Tuck or Glee – the other series from the creative team of Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk – but I’m still anticipating tonight’s pilot episode. Part of this has to do with the fact it’s a “psycho-sexual thriller,” but I think a bigger part has to do with the network behind the project. FX is edgy. Whether it’s a comedy like Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Louie or dramas like The Shield and Sons of Anarchy – the network’s shown to choose its original programming well. I’ll make sure to check out any series FX decides to put its money behind.

Truth be told, however, I actually don’t know a damn thing about American Horror Story. I’ve done this mostly on purpose, as I’ve tried to sequester myself from news about the series, which is readily available on any and every media website. I haven’t read about it other than its completely vague premise, I haven’t watched the first 5 minutes now available online and I haven’t even seen many of its ever-increasing TV spots, which couldn’t be accused of giving away too much anyway. The only thing I know about the series is that my ass will be parked on the couch (with a bag of edible, gummy creature within arms reach) tonight at 9 PM Central.

What say you?

Six years ago NASA discovered the possibility of alien life within our solar system. A probe was quickly sent out to collect samples, but it crashed upon re-entry in Central America. Soon after, new life forms began to appear. In an effort to limit the destruction that resulted from these creatures unexpected arrival, half of Mexico was quarentined as an “infected zone” where the creatures would be contained. The US and Mexican military now struggle to keep the massive creatures in the area.

With the creatures and the “infected zone” creating problems, Andrew (McNairy), a photographer, is sent to retrieve his boss’ daughter, Samantha (Able), who injured her arm while in Central America. Andrew resents being forced to “babysit” Sam as she tries to get home, but he does as he’s asked – everyone has to make a living. And it’s not as though it’s a difficult assignment: take a train to the coast and board a ferry home. But nothing is as easy as it should be in a world where enormous, alien creatures exist.

Monsters is Gareth Edwards’ film, as he’s both writer and director. While his script’s sufficient – it meanders a bit and never develops his characters – his direction is superb. He basically walked around Central America with his leads, who are pretty much the only “actors” in the film, capturing the scenery and culture, and asking people if they’d like to be in his film. While he creates a genuine world for his characters, he doesn’t lean much on science fiction. Yes, alien creatures have crashed on our planet, which is a concept that’s spun many a sci-fi yarn, but they’re presence is small and more metaphorical than anything else.

Edwards uses the creatures to make several social and political statements (immigration, foreign-policy, etc.). He’s occasionally heavy-handed with his comments, but he’s never preachy. The creatures are also mostly an omnipresent threat heard bellowing from within the dense jungle. They could’ve actually been replaced by any type of crisis (i.e. civil unrest, terrorist attack, natural disaster, etc.) that would’ve forced the protagonists together, as Monsters is more about their relationship than the creatures. This is a dramatic romance in disguise where the creatures provide the context for Andrew and Samantha to be together.

But the banality of the creatures existence works both for and against the film. The creatures roar from the jungle at all hours, the “infected zone” is a constant reminder, fences and walls are everywhere and the military’s presence is strong. Yet, people are surprisingly well adjusted to all of this. Life simply carries on like any other developing, war-torn area: poverty is widespread and life is hard. It’s a believable world for the creatures to exist. But the lack of creatures on-screen and the relative normalcy of the world grounds the majority of the film to a point where I felt like I was just watching a run-of-the-mill love story unfold. Credit Scoot McNairy’s and Whitney Able’s low-key performances, however, for keeping their oil-and-water characters from becoming full-blown clichés, but a little more depth to them could’ve made the film’s mid-section much more eventful.

It isn’t until the third act before Edwards finally allows his creatures and his characters to affect each other in a way entirely unique to his vision. Their interaction also offers insight into his ultimate intent with this project. This is a human drama, and even though the moment involves alien creatures, it’s a very human moment. I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s a beautiful moment in a film where memorable moments are few and far between. I just felt it came a little too late.

Monsters is okay for what it is – a love story with incredibly mild sci-fi overtones – but a monster movie it is not.

Director: Anders Banke
Writer: Daniel Ojanlatava & Pidde Andersson
Cast: Grete Havnesköld, Petra Nielsen, Carl-Åke Eriksson, Emma T. Åberg & Jonas Karlström
Studio: Wellspring Media
Special Features: Frostbitten: Behind the Scenes, Deleted Scenes, Bloopers & Trailer

I’m not a fan of the “horror comedy” because they typically have a muddled tone and are neither scary nor funny. Frostbitten, which is billed as Sweden’s first vampire film, is a descent “horror comedy.” It still suffers from some of the above issues, but it also has charm as a self-aware vampire pic. It identifies several vampire conventions and uses them as punchlines. It’s funny and endears itself enough to horror fans to make it a worthwhile watch despite its fluctuating tone and lack of traditional scares.

In Ukraine, 1944, a group of soldiers separated from their platoon try to find refuge from the cold. When they come across an abandoned shelter deep in the forest, they decide to hole up for the night. But something isn’t quite right inside. The stove’s still hot and no snow is cleared away from the doors or windows. So how did the former occupants get out? They didn’t.

Decades later, Saga (Havnesköld) and her mother Annika (Nielsen) move to a small Lapland town so Annika can work alongside the famous geneticist Gerhard Beckert (Eriksson). They’ve arrived just as the town is about to experience a month of perpetual darkne around 12 ss, and both must adjust to their new residence. Saga meets a quirky new friend at school, Vega (Åberg), while Annika becomes intrigued by Beckert and his only patient, a young coma victim whom he treats with mysterious red pills. But Prof. Beckert is no professor and his red pills are no medicine.

Frostbittendoes a lot right. It’s biggest success is the fact it’s actually a funny film. Now, “funny” is a completely subjective term, so some may not find it consistently funny, but I suspect many will find it funny enough. And it’s not goofy slapstick humor or one-liners from some cliché stoner or something – it’s subtle and smart. Sebastian’s subplot, which follows his transforms into a vampire while at dinner with his girlfriend’s parents, is underscored by the problematic nature of her dad’s profession and that night’s entrée, among other things. But it’s a gruesome garden gnome kill that not only delivers arguably the biggest laugh but is also a good example of the film’s black humor.I don’t care for all its laughs, however. Sebastian’s ability to hear his girlfriend’s dog speak comes across as “silly” in a mostly genuine film and other jokes were dated, at least here in the US. One guy says, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” while two others discuss the drummers of Iron Maiden and Def Leppard. Now, as a fellow metal fan, I’ve probably had way too many discussions on drummers of 80s metal bands myself, and it’s not like it takes anything away from the film, but it’s one of several things that make the film feel old. I don’t believe we’re ever actually told when the events after the prologue take place, so the film could easily be set in the 80s, I suppose.

The film also uses three separate narratives to keep its energy up. Once all of the characters and the evening’s party are in place, the narrative fractures into three and weaves in and out of each other for the rest of the film. It’s a bit too jumpy to start as it bounces around establishing each narrative, and Banke’s use of several wipes and fades also add to the dated feel of the film (Star Wars much?), but the cutting in and out carries it to its suddenly abrupt conclusion. The tone of each narrative is different, however. Annika’s dealings with Prof. Beckert is mostly serious, though underdeveloped, while Sebastian’s dinner and Saga’s party are more lighthearted and funny. It almost feels like they initially wrote a vampire anthology, but decided to cut it up in the end. And as I said to start, Frostbitten is actually funny, so the uneven tone is easier to overlook than when a film’s uneven and not funny.

I also must comment on the effects, which are about the right mix of practical prosthetics and CGI. There are a few scenes, especially towards the end, where the CGI stands out more, but it’s a mostly fluid use of the technology. I like how the filmmakers portrayed the ancient, bloodthirsty evil lurking in the dark of night (i.e., the head vampire) as a fuckin’ monster once again, too. But I don’t understand why they went with the 30 Days of Nightscenario, as most of the events either take place, or could’ve taken place, all in one night (I’ll assume the party in the film isn’t a noon kegger while everybody’s parents were at work). Other issues like the rate of infection shouldn’t be looked at with two critical an eye either.Ultimately, Frostbitten does more right than wrong with smart and funny tweaks to the well-worn vampire conventions. I’d recommend it with the caveat that humor is entirely subjective.

Now, just so we can establish a definition for the term, the Arab Times, in the review of the film, Monsters, which Alexander cites, offers this, “… [a film] where horror, sci-fi and monster movie tropes are smartly used to tell a not-so usual story.” I think their definition is sufficient in that it lets you know the film in question is a genre film, which is big, in my opinion, but it also says that it’s more ambitious than the standard genre piece, which is what Alexander finds offensive. Personally, I think the term is the genre equivalent of “art-house” – a term I find much more pompous. I’d include films like Let the Right One in, Monsters, District 9, Children of Men, etc. as examples of “elevated genre” most of us could agree on without much argument to the contrary. In fact, I find the term short and functional enough to the point where I plan to use it in the future.

But getting back to my point, I think the term “elevated genre” is a positive. I’ve already written that emotionally impactful horror films must be about something other than the “horrific.” There must be substance beneath the “monster,” so when director Matt Reeves (Let Me in) says, “[Elevated genre] means there’s more of a dramatic and emotional core than just the horror,” I wholeheartedly agree. I also see this as the type of artistic approach that’ll attract superior writers/directors/actors to sign on to genre pictures, which should help improve the final product. And to refer to a film as “elevated genre” shouldn’t be seen as a slight. I’ll take “elevated genre,” which at least acknowledges the fact a project is a genre film, over a horror film being called a “thriller” *cough*Silence of the Lambs*cough* in attempt to try and save face. Does it imply “standard” genre films are the slums of cinema? Yes, but Alexander considers it’s use almost a personal affront – he’s understandably the editor-in-chief of Rue Morgue and therefore tied professionally to genre films – but I look at the term as a possible means to more genre films being released.